there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
