whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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