We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize