so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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