Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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