So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
