I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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