I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
