I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
