He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize