We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
