Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I believe in your delicious
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
