I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
