Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Enjoy the penises
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
