I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
