We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize