Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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