Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
