what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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