I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
