last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize