Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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