M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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