i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
