Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
