I cannot find my penis.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
