I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
