my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
