Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
