Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
its not stalking. its research.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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