is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
