He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
