I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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