He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize