no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
