we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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