Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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