I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
