I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
