I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
