I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
