How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize