I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
