I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
