you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
