my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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