Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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