i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Found the puke drawer
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
