i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
