Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
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