So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize