Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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