Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
