This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize