Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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