And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
