Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
