she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
