ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize