You really coming over, don't trick.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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