ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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