Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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