so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
