her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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